


I eat gender roles for breakfast

by lotspot



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Enjolras/Grantaire - Freeform, Homophobia, Slurs, and fee thinks its definitely hot, bahorel has a zero tolerance policy for homophobes, bromos, bromos revival 2k17, but its only mentioned in the background
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-09-23 13:34:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9659573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lotspot/pseuds/lotspot
Summary: Bahorel likes wearing dresses. He's got the legs for it.When some dudes in a bar give him shit he gets caught in a bar fight and he steals a bar stool of a stranger to smash over someone's head.Said stranger turns out to be very cute. And is apparently hitting on him?Warnings: homophobic slurs. violence but no blood or anything.





	

**Author's Note:**

> More bromos fics 2k17 ok thanks.
> 
> Dedicated to Ece who gave me the bromos bug this week.

Bahorel had always been very comfortable in his gender. He identified wholeheartedly as a man but he’d be damned if that meant he couldn’t show off his legs in a cocktail dress. He knew he looked damn good.

And that was the situation he was in at that moment. He was nursing a beer at the bar wearing a black cocktail dress. He received a text from Grantaire that was just a long string of exclamation marks and smiley faces and red love hearts. Bahorel groaned. If Grantaire had managed to finally ask out Enjolras, that absolutely meant he was on his own for the night. He took a long swig from his beer.

“What happen love, get stood up?”

Some sleazy fuck slid into the bar stool next to him. This wasn’t the first time he’d dealt with this. He had super long dreads and he was wearing a cocktail dress. From the back and after a couple of beers apparently it was an easy mistake to make.

Bahorel rolled his eyes and turned to face him.

The guy physically flinched when he properly looked at him and Bahorel laughed out loud. “Better luck next time, mate.”

Usually that was the end of it but luck must really not have been on his side because the guy puffed up like a peacock.

“Fucking faggot. You are disgusting honestly.”

Bahorel sighed and downed his beer.

“Dude I don’t want any trouble.” But even as he said it he stood up and rolled his shoulders back in preparation. Sleazy guy’s friends had clearly decided to help him because he was now surrounded by a total of 6 guys who all looked ready to fight. He shot a look at Musichetta behind the bar. She just raised her eyebrows and started clearing the glasses from the bar. Smart move, thought Bahorel and he grinned.

“Well, I really wish I could say I didn’t want to hurt any of you but I kinda have a zero tolerance policy for homophobes so actually… I do.”

He knew he couldn’t throw the first punch. As long as he was second it was self-defense and he would only get banned for like… a week.

Thankfully Bahorel’s luck turned and Sleazy guy ran at him and collided his fist with Bahorel’s stomach. Honestly, Bahorel had done worse to himself running into poles when he was drunk. Bahorel swung his fist and collided satisfyingly with Sleazy guy’s face.

And then hell broke loose.

The other six men ran at him at the same time but Bahorel fought them off pretty easily. He had to give them credit though; they kept coming. Bahorel needed to end this. Blindly he grabbed a guy sitting at the bar by the arm and twirled him neatly off the bar stool he was sitting on.

“Sorry bro I gotta borrow this”

Bahorel grabbed the bar stool and smashed it over the back of one of the guys. The rest of them took that as a sign that it was over. They left the bar throwing slurs over their shoulders.

Bahorel picked up the remains of the bar stool and handed it back to the guy who had been sitting on it.

“Sorry bro, you may need to find another place to sit.”

“Mm would your lap be suitable?”

Bahorel smirked and looked at the guy for the first time. He froze to the spot.

The guy was cute.

Very cute.

“I’m sorry, I’m Bahorel. I manhandled you and smashed your chair but I seem to have forgotten to ask your name.”

The other man smiled. “Well you were somewhat otherwise occupied.”

“Touché” Bahorel was full on grinning now. This night was turning out to be very interesting indeed.

“It’s Feuilly by the way. My name.”

Bahorel held his elbow out.

“Well, Feuilly, I estimate I have about 5 minutes before the police arrive to question me. How about you accompany me to a different bar; one where I am not banned and one that will have a bar stool that isn’t smashed.” He turned to the bar “Sorry about that Chetta! When my ban runs out I will be back with a brand new stool for you! I promise!”

In response Musichetta waved her hand and shouted “Just buy me like 10 drinks and we’ll call it even, Baz.”

“That’s why I love you!” Then he turned back to Feuilly, who was watching the scene with an amused grin on his face, “So anyways, shall we?”

Feuilly went to take Bahorel’s elbow.

“If we go to a bar with un-broken bar stools is the option of sitting on your lap off the table?”

Bahorel laughed heartily, “Absolutely not.”

They walked outside into the night and turned the corner. They heard the blare of sirens behind them and Bahorel chuckled.

“This isn’t the first time this has happened, is it?” Feuilly asked.

Bahorel shrugged. “It happens a lot, I guess. Grantaire says it’s because I just like to start fights, which I guess is partly true. But I know that if I dress like this and I can take them down, they may not bother the people who dress like this but can’t defend themselves. And besides, I look good in a dress and I will fight them for that right.”

Feuilly laughed. It was a sound of such happiness Bahorel couldn’t help but smile too. “I can’t disagree with that last point. You have incredible legs for a dress. Wait did you say Grantaire?”

“You know them?”

“They're the reason I was in that bar. I know Enjolras.”

They both stopped walking and Bahorel grabbed Feuilly by the shoulders. “Are you saying that we were both stood up by our friends because they got with each other and then we happened to meet? Feuilly this is fate, my dude!”

Shrugging, Feuilly peeled Bahorel’s hands from his shoulders but kept a hold of them, “I believe we make our own fate… but I have to agree this is a scary coincidence.” He let go of one of Bahorel’s hands and got them walking again.

“So do you know about the ABC meetings then? Why don’t you come along?”

Bahorel shrugged, “I’ve been meaning to. It sounds completely up my street. Do you go?”

Feuilly smirked, “Come to one and find out.”

 

\--

2 weeks later

Bahorel bounded into the Musain and threw his arms around Feuilly’s neck. “Guess what! My ban ran out in my favourite bar so rounds on me!”

The rest of the room cheered. Musichetta rolled her eyes as Bahorel gave her a cheeky thumbs up.

Feuilly kissed his cheek. “Do you mean the bar where you smashed my bar stool?”

Bahorel pulled him closer, which was easy because Feuilly was wearing a crop-top and neon pink braces. “That was one hell of a night. Look I’m even wearing a dress today to commemorate our first meeting there.”

“I do like the floral. But the black one was hotter.”

Enjolras coughed, “Ok before the flirting gets completely out of hand can we please start the meeting?”

Bahorel grinned at him, “Sorry boss” and he blew Enjolras a kiss before finding a chair to sit on.

 

The meeting ends and they all troop to Musichetta’s bar for Bahorel’s “welcome back from being banned” obligatory round of drinks.

Bahorel heartily led the crowd through the door holding Feuilly’s hand tightly in his. Suddenly he froze.

The douchebags that had gotten him kicked out were there again. He felt Feuilly bristle beside him.

Nobody spoke. Musichetta silently slipped behind the bar and started pouring pints.

Bahorel stared at them, daring them to speak.

To everyone’s relief the douchebags downed their pints, grabbed their coats and left without a single word.

“Gosh it’s so nice when my lessons are actually taken in and remembered.” Bahorel grinned and they went to sit at the bar.

Feuilly chuckled, “I guess that was an unforgettable night for everybody.”

**Author's Note:**

> hmu on tumblr  
> probably-pride-related
> 
> xxx


End file.
